Do You Believe In What You Want?

30K IN A DAY

2006-11-23T11:19:00.000-08:00

It's day 23 and I'm still not at the 70,000 marks yet. Last year I finished with 110K this day. Which means: serious catching up is about to be done.

so today, I'll be home, with nothing pressing to do except to write a book. And it'll be a challenge, because after a point, fingers get tired, mind gets emptied, book gets hated, and life gets in the way.

But I can do it. I can write 2000 words in 30 minutes, so surely, with a little effort, with a little persistence, with a little more control and determination, I'll be back on track and accomplish something worth bragging about.

Is it weird that I'm somehow totally excited?

And afraid...and worried. but that's nothing compared to the elation I'll feel if I do this. Okay, no more blabbing. I think it's about time to get started...I have a long day to go!

For the NaNo forums, if it actually starts working:

Well, it's Thanksgiving, and since I'll be home all day and I'm in serious need of catching up (for my 150K goal!), I'm determined to get where I need to be. And 100K is where I want to be.

I can write about 2000 words in half an hour, so statistically, it's totally possible to write for....six-eight hours and do this. But there is the issue of food and (minimized) procrastination. I figured if I broadcast this to the world, it'll help me settle down and write.

Anyone else crazy enough to join me?

I'll let you guys know how it goes. I'm very curious as to how much I'll actually accomplish...

Yay.

2006-11-14T21:30:00.000-08:00

So I'm now at 50,021 words.

Which means that, technically, I've won NaNoWriMo, but for me, I've still got a long way to go.

I guess I'm pretty happy with the novel thus far. There's a lot of repetition and stuff like that, but from me it's to be expected.

I'm not really worried about what's going to happen next, as they always seem to work out.

I'm not feeling especially cheerful about my win, however. But this whole year of NaNo has been a little lacking in excitement and the fresh eagerness I displayed year one and two, basically. It's like, the third time around, so I expected to win and finish and do everything according to plan. Although, I really am behind. I will catch up over thanksgiving break, that's a promise.

So: yay.

Week of Terrors

2006-11-10T12:35:00.000-08:00

Ugh, the dreaded week two. I'm really, really feeling it this year.

Yesterday and the day before that, I wrote exactly zero words. And I'm supposed to be writing exactly 5000 words a day to meet my goal...I've been so confident about my achievements last year and the year before, I really don't think I'm trying as hard as I could be this year. But, I'm sure when it comes down to it, I would stay up late the very last night and type continously for however long and get it done, if that's what it came to. But I'm also pretty confident that I can catch up over Thanksgiving break. Even when I take away procrastination time, school work is pretty annoying.

In any case, at least I sort of have a story. It's about this guy who's utterly in love with this girl who's (probably) going to die in the next thirty days, and he's basically trying to stop that from happening because...well, he's in love, right?

So far I have no idea what genre this would be. It's pretty ridiculous in its descriptions, but also kind of deep and literary, but also pretty horror-like. Hmm...

2006!

2006-10-31T19:01:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, huh?

I'm not at all prepared this year. Not the remotest ideas as to what this novel will be about...not even a hint of a title, character. Or even genre.

I have, however, found a couple of interesting writing programs that might be of help. That is to say, they might help me from procrastinating and getting distracted by everything constantly. Maybe.

I also have a brave but accessible goal of 150,000 words in a month. Plus a lot more school work and outside time consuming things.

I'm hoping this idea for a book will come before tomorrow morning, when I'll brave the freezing/tiring cold morning air in hopes of pounding out word counts.

So wish me luck.

The End

2005-11-24T21:18:00.000-08:00

Word Count: 110,470

Well, that's it. I finished. The story and all.

And I don't feel happy, not at all. In fact, I kind of feel like crying. It's over too soon, too fast. I didn't even get a chance to say good bye! I don't want to give out spoilers for future readers, but I might change the ending in the rewrite anyway, so let's just say that there are very, very few survivors. Out of all those characters I spent less than a month fleshing out and getting to know, all those characters I talked to and explored, most of them are gone. Forever. And I'm not sure I like them, away, like that.

The ending feels so empty...more suited for a short story, then a novel. And to think, just earlier today, I was happy that my characters finally decided to take action and do what they want to do! I wish I didn't let them do that...or perhaps I would have more words to go, more time to spent the next week. But I suppose, it's all over. I wrote the end. There's no sequel. No more.

I'm not sure if it's healthy to feel this sad after finishing a novel, but I suppose I'll feel better tomorrow...either that, or expect a crazed post informing you I've deleted the last twenty pages and plan on creating a new, happy ending!

...but most likely not.

I really had wanted a happy ending, though. I wanted something out of this, and what does my characters give me? Death, that's what. And a lame lesson that fail to make sense. Perhaps, January, the rewrite will make it all better...yes, I have hope. I have faith.

Because, it's been a long, interesting journey, and I've arrived, safely, on the other end. And although those plot points I wanted, those mysterious characters I never revealed much about exposed themselves a little too much, I got them through it. I got myself through it.

And I think I'll congratulate myself, somehow. And anyway, this is good! Now I can proudly slap the label of "tortured artist" and walk around whining about how sad I am that my novel is finished.

Thanks, everyone.

Happy Thanksgiving. And good night.

Ahem. 100,000!!!!!!

2005-11-23T15:47:00.000-08:00

Word Count: 100778

YES! YES! YES!

I have nothing else to say. Except to inform you that the story still isn't finished...but...let's see...100,000 words in 23 days! I am in a whole other realm of happiness right now. I am amazing. And fantastic. I now own every bragging right in the universe.

YAY!

Get Out of This Place While We Still Have Time

2005-11-22T21:36:00.000-08:00

Word Count: 95,768

An averge 5,000 today, although now I know that there's a very good chance that the novel isn't going to be finished at 100K. There's still another whole group of characters I haven't touched on, and other plot ends to tie up...I'm just going to try and finish it before December comes. It's crazy.

5,000 more words and I'll be finished! That's such a sparkling, happy thought. I guess I still need to figure out a celebration method, though. Oh well.

The Eight Eight Eight took my baby away

2005-11-21T18:02:00.000-08:00

Word count: 89,991

I am seriously eight words from reaching 90,000 words. How pathetic is that? I'll probably manage to pound out those eight words for the rest of the night...but still, it's looking so strange and sad right now. Then again, Word does make a point of bluffing up those word counts, so that when I upload the text document to the NaNo website, it's lower. Well, I guess I can probably pound out another thousand or so...

I was trying to type with my eyes closed during the 30 minutes wars and I got up to 1800 words in half an hour! I'm loving it, despite the utter nonsense I'm creating, still, loving every moment of it.

Aww, I'm really going to miss my baby, Untitled, when November is over...but not to worry, I get back in touch with it in December, and then I'll start hating myself for writing such and utter crap, and then edit like hell...and maybe even attempt to send this one off to an agent and publisher and whatnot.

Despite its millions of flaws, I can say that it is better than my novel last year, which was really split into two, equally un-make-sense-able parts, one 50K and the other a little shorter. We'll see what happens, though. Week four is too much fun!

Untitled is the title of my novel

2005-11-20T19:52:00.000-08:00

Word Count: 81,098

Well, I got back on track today. Managed around 8000 words, and I discovered that I can write as much as 1700 words in half an hour! Wow. I'm surprised by myself. And now I finally don't hate my characters and my story. I think I'll actually be sorry to see them go as November wraps to an end.

And now, the brilliant title of the novel is finally revealed...yes, Untitled is the actual title of the novel, and it is also the name of the band that creates that murderous music you all care so much about. This is, of course, a working title, but I'm probably too lazy to think of anything else. And wouldn't you want to read a novel titled Untitled? Wouldn't you be curious?

Okay. Maybe not.

In other news, I hate iTunes. I use the iPod plug-in for Winamp to do all my updating and adding songs, and all that, but I wanted to check out Stephen King's playlist and I needed to open iTunes to do that. So it wiped out most of my songs and took up valuable time, which could have been spent toward another 10K day. Remind me never to open iTunes again with my iPod plugged in.

And that shall be all. I am planning another 10K day sometime next week, though, as it will bring me into the final stretch and I really want the damn thing finished!

Close but so Far

2005-11-18T16:51:00.000-08:00

Word count: 72,830

I don't know what's been going on lately, but it's getting near impossible to write. Distractions are every where, and it had been easy to side step them early in the game, but now I can't seem to focus. It's always I gotta check my email/blog/forum/website just one more time, and I'll write the next :30, and I'll wait till the next :00...except that now, I can't go through with it.

I think I may have reached a deadlock in my novel. The downside of not remembering what you wrote the day before is that I can't keep track of what my characters are doing, and since my novel is basically split into three parts, I have to go back and figure it all out. And often I forget what I had been trying to get to, and what character is supposed to do what and all that madness. Last night, for the first time, I tried doing outline and notes, and came up with a bunch of strange character ties and plot ties, and more than a dozen unanswered questions with not a single clear answer.

I thought I might let it all out here and see if this can free my inspiration. At the moment, it's not looking too good. I know, however, that at over 70,000 words, there's no way I'm going to abandon my shitty story and all that. I mean, I might just end up murdering all my characters, and nothing would make the slightest sense...but it'll get the job done, won't it?

And besides, this is week three. Everything is supposed to be easy and fun. I'm supposed to know exactly where I'm going and how I'm getting there...sigh. Well, I don't know. I really don't know. Maybe it's all my distress at missing BOTH of the Jimmy Eat World shows around L.A. in December. It was going to be my perfect reward for that tedious 100,000 words, but now, I have nothing to look forward to...my life is a dark and empty hole...except, not really, and also that I can't think of anything else I want at the end of the month as much as seeing the greatest band ever live at intimate venues. But I guess it's my fault for sleeping on the presale and my inability to get a ride anywhere...

We'll see if that word counts soars up tomorrow.

Ten K in a Day?

2005-11-11T20:39:00.000-08:00

Word count: 60070

I have done it. I have done the unthinkable. The amazing and wonderful (that is, aside from writing a novel or anything...), I've written 10,000 words in a single day! Today!

It's so great to see that round little number. I had today off, so I thought I'd go for it. And it's extra hard because it's week two, and I hate my novel so much right now it's not even funny. But it's worth it! It's all worth it, because 10K in a day! Wow! My record!

I did do 8000 words or so before, and I was impressed then, so I thought 2000 words more shouldn't be so bad...I guess it's not as terrible as I thought. I actually did six (count 'em, six!) 30 minute word wars for this. I average about 1500 words per word war usually, but this time I slowed during a few and went over on a few others. I'm so glad. Maybe I'll take the weekend off now and do stuff...maybe. Or maybe I'll just go for 3000 and stick with it to reach that beautiful 100K by the end of the month. Also, I'd enjoy finishing the damned story, which, at the moment, is going no where and feels really repetative.

We've got a Winner!!!

2005-11-10T16:54:00.000-08:00

Word count: 50,080!!

YAYY!!! I won! Celebration! Fireworks! Family Guy!

I'm so very happy at the moment, that I'll just take the rest of the evening off...maybe even tomorrow if I'm feeling generous (no school!), and then it's back to work again. Only 50K more to go! Wow...

Too excited/distracted for details. 50K in five days...it sounds so impressive even though I know there are those with higher word counts than me, I love my novel and I'll continue to love it throughout the rest of the month.

Okay. No more writing today. Adios and YAY again!

Week Two=Week of Doom

2005-11-08T22:15:00.000-08:00

Word Count: 40,353

So according to Chris Baty (and many others), week two is the hardest. I'm feeling the strain, too. Yesterday, I didn't even reach 2000 words, but I think my 7000-something run tonight made up for it and pushed me just over 40K! I'm very excited. And at the moment, one of my MC's I can't write enough about and the other is just not interesting enough! I kind of want to kill her off...but that would ruin the overall plot and I wouldn't want to write myself into a corner almost half way through my journey.

It's really late right now, so I'll go get some sleep (wow, what's that?) and I'll be back soon...once I hit 50K I'm giving myself the treat of watching Family Guy, the movie. YAY!

Three is the Lonely-ist Number After Two

2005-11-06T20:18:00.000-08:00

Word Count: 30,797

I realized that I'm a night writer type of writer, which is good and bad. Mostly bad, because that means I get less sleep, I'm less likely to update my blog sometimes in the middle of the night, and all sorts of unpleasant stuff. But, since I am writing horror and all, the darkness seem to help me focus and make my characters suffer like there's no hell after (but of course there is! And I can't wait to make them suffer for it!)

Also, it helps me not waste time on amazingly fanastic TV shows such as Family Guy and the Simpsons...and oh how it pains me to type this rather than jump in front of the TV and laugh at Homer and Peter and Stewie and Maggie and Brian, the writing and sarcastic dog that's too adorable...but I'm focusing. I'm updating. See? Look at that. I'm writing a lot of words and I've hit 30K! That makes me a whole 10K ahead of schedule! YAY! By this rate I'll finish the 100K by the 20th of November...boy, wouldn't that be fantastic? I can't believe it's only been a week, though, it feels like years since I first started...

And you want to know something interesting? I have no idea what I wrote the days before. I just glance back at the last sentence and go from there. I think that's how I can write so fast--without thinking. But that's enough talking for the night. I need to take a break, maybe do some homework and TV watching...good night. Signing out.

20,000 AND COUNTING!

2005-11-04T22:14:00.000-08:00

Word Count: 21,036

YES! I've reached the 20K mark in four days! Only 80K to go! I'm so happy right now. I finally caught up on my word counts and I'm still ahead of schedule, so I might even get to take a break some time this month!

Also, instead of forcing words out and waiting for the 30 minute word wars finish, I'm now having fun spenting all this time on my story and my characters, who are actually beginning to take on shapes and personalities! And I'm beginning to like them, too! Who knows, I might even feel bad about killing them off. But of course that's not going to stop me from killing them.

You should all be very proud of me. 20K words and so far only one person has died...well, okay, maybe two, but the first one is kind of vague and no one is sure whether she's dead. And, honestly, I don't think anyone should care. I'm in a state of bliss right now so please excuse all exclaimation marks and gushing. I'm really tempted to upload a whole mixtape right now...but...it's late and I should probably rest for another frantic day tomorrow.

Catching Up is Only Half the Fun

2005-11-04T15:50:00.000-08:00

Word count (for 11.4.05): 13,777

Just keeping up with yesterday's post. You can read about my lousy excuses or forget it. I think I rather discuss something a little more interesting, instead.

Here's the thing, with that plot of mine. While I'm not sure if its going anywhere (or anywhere useful, at least), it's moving...or rather, crawling toward a beginning, middle and end. That seems good, except that I'm using a lot of flashbacks that I'm not sure anyone will care about. I don't even know if I care about it. But hey, it fills up words in a nice, easy matter, and allows much freedom. Much better than my pages of describing blood, which, as interesting as it is, gets rather repetative. It only comes in one color...just several shades of it...and one form. I can't even get into describing various interesting way of cutting a body now, and that's a little sad. I really happen to enjoy writing about cutting bodies. In. Great. Vivid. Detail.

On the bright side, despite my twice consistent missing of my supposed 3,500 words a day count goal, my double run on day one is still keeping me on track. I knew something like that was going to happen, so I perpared in advance. It's now Friday, and I'm perpared to kick some word counting ass this weekend. I'll be at 20,000 by Monday, for sure, but probably earlier. It's all rather exciting, wouldn't you say?

Clever Title for Day Two

2005-11-02T21:12:00.000-08:00

Word count: 11,121

Damn. I didn't even get to 3,000 words today, but I guess it's reasonable since I had enough homework to destroy a small army. Okay, not really, but I'm too tired to blog and more details tomorrow...

Let's Start at the Very Beginning

2005-11-01T19:54:00.000-08:00

Word Count: 8174 (yes!!!!)

It's a very good place to start. The insanity has begun. Already my fingers are moving at a pace that might be damaging to my health and my grammar and spelling skills are melting away. However, I did squeeze in lots and lots of words and I have something resembling the beginning of a story. It's about (no way!) a band which makes music which makes people go insane and commit various creative and gorey acts of violence, which I can't wait to start describing!

I have yet to decide on a main character, but have faith and it will come. I'm now on Chapter Two out of...however many, I have not a clue. I love NaNoWriMo so freaking much. In case you happen to be embarking on this amazing journey with me, try doing the word wars on the forums. It boost your word count in minimal time with minimal effort. It's also fun. Has anyone else notice how I'm even trying to boost my word count on here? Maybe I'll include it as part of my novel. I really adore typing that. My novel. My book. I am a novelist. I am a published novelist. YESSSS!

And in case any of you are dying to know, I like to listen to Jimmy Eat World's Clarity (come on, you can't honestly tell me you weren't expecting that...) and Belle & Sebastian's Push Barman to Open Old Wounds to write. See what crazy MP3 I decide to post tomorrow on the amazing and wonderful bubble death.

NaNoWriMo Madness

2005-10-31T19:28:00.000-08:00

Testing.